Rule 304!
by TheDojikkoDork
Summary: Megumi and Miyuki are new at Ouran and they're causing trouble for the Host club. Why you might ask? They want to start their own Hostess club but thanks to 'Rule 304' the only way they can start one is if they close the Host club down. What's going to happen to the Host club? I know the summary sucks, but check it out :) Rated T to be safe
1. Megumi's POV

**A/N:** Hiya guys, here is the first edited chapter of Rule 304, I hope you guys like it I posted it earlier than I said as I think it's a lot better. I will be updating this story once a week from now but I will still try and post another chapter on the 8th, so enjoy~ Just so you guys know, I don't own Ouran :) Oh and just so you all know, the story will now all be written in 1st POV, okay? Tell me if you like it more or what?

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**~MEGUMI'S POV~**

I grinned as I wondered down the hall, it had been my first day at Ouran High School and today had been fairly awesome, oh who am I kidding it had been so awesome, that if I had an awesomeness scale, which I did have at one point but I lost it, it would be off the scale! Seriously, off the scale! That was so awesome, it hurts my brain just thinking about how awesome that is.

There's only one thing left to do now before I leave this epic pink school that I am fairly certain I have fallen in love with. It's time to meet the Host club. My newest rivals. It's going to be so awesome!

**~.~**

"Host club I challenge you to a duel!" My voice echoed around the room, I could tell the Host club was scared. They were almost quaking with fear! The scaredy cats. I couldn't blame them though, I am pretty scary. I swear some of them even started laughing as they they were so scared! They should be scared of me and my awesomeness though, in a way I feel bad for them, having to deal with all my awesomeness.

I turned to face my loyal servant Miyuki. She seemed to be rolling her eyes, buts that probably because of my awesome display of bravery. In one look we communicated all we needed to say. I demanded that she explained to them what I meant and she replied by giving me a look that told me she would happily do anything for her kind master. It might have been a glare though, but I prefer to interpret it that way. Less of a threat on my life. Not that I would ever say Miyuki is dangerous, she'd kill me if I did.

"What my..." She paused and stared at my for a minute as if trying to find the right word to describe me. It would obviously be hard as me and Miyuki were so close, to be honest I wouldn't be surprised if she said sister. We were just that close. She might even call me a God. It must be hard for her to chose just a few words to describe my purr awesomeness. I know I could easily write a book about it. "...Acquaintance means to say is we want to close the Host club down." ...This is a joke right? Acquaintance?! I am far more than an 'acquaintance'! I am her reason for living. If it weren't for me, she'd be nothing! Nothing I tell you. I would demand that she explained this horrible act of treason but we can't show our weaknesses. It might help them gain an edge, and then we would lose this epic battle of wits!

I turned to face my new foes, they were all staring at us like they were confused. I understand though, even I would be confused if someone who was as epic as me came up to me and challenged me to a duel. Not that that would ever happen, there is after all no one as epic as me

"Obviously, we don't expect you too just give up. That would be so dull but I wouldn't mind if my awesomeness made you just want to give up. I would completely understand. It can be quite intimidating, facing someone as amazing as me." I smiled happily, they were obviously going to give up. No one could beat someone as awesome as me. This was going to be so much fun, beating them up.

"What have you got against the Host club?" A random girl shouted up at me. I seriously can't believe she did that! So disrespectful! I'm pretty much a god! They should be praying to me! They should sacrifice chocolate for me. Actually they should do that! That would be so awesome, I could just eat it all day, it would be a dream come true. I love chocolate.

Wait, that's really off point, what was my point anyway to begin with? I remember! The reason I have to close down the Host club.

"Mi-chan!"I called Miyuki using the nick name I've been using for her since the first day I met her. I could almost imagine her rolling her eyes. She couldn't stand it when I used that nick name. Miyuki said it made it sound like we were actually friends. I think she felt it would bring down my reputation if we were friends but she needed to realise, that I didn't mind if being friends with her brought down my reputation. We were friends after all. Though when I explained this to her she had asked what drugs I was on. She has very low self confidence if I'm being honest. "Explain to these imbeciles, why the Host club must be destroyed!" I shouted pointing at Miyuki.

"...No." Miyuki replied her voice mono-toned perfectly. It always creeps me out how she can do that, show absolutely no emotion. It's unnatural!

"Don't be a poop face, Mi-chan!" I wailed sadly begging her to explain it. It was all Scientific and Mathematical and I don't get it! You see while I am more of a creative genius, in a way, Miyuki is more the brains. I come up with the crazy plans that tend to fail, then Miyuki sorts them out so they work. See how creative I am?

Miyuki rolled her eyes at my amazingly creative insult but I knew she would explain. Miyuki was nice like that, most of the time. The rest of the time I'm fairly certain she's plotting ways to assassinate me. She's so scary.

"If I must." She sighed shooting a quick evil glare at me that sent shivers down my spine. I swear she practices that in the mirror just to freak me out. I wouldn't actually be surprised if she did. She seems to find joy in my fear. "Well, where to start."  
"From the beginning?" I asked trying to be helpful. Don't tell Miyuki, but she can sure live up to her blonde hair sometimes. It was as if Miyuki could read my thoughts as she slapped me over the head before carrying on with her explanation. I probably shouldn't have thought of her as a dumb blonde, now I think about it, I'm going to die! Oh well, my funeral will be awesome! I could get a unicorn and everything! Obviously there would have to be a leprechaun too. What's a funeral without a leprechaun?

"Well, as I was saying," Miyuki paused shooting a sharp glare in my direction, before carrying on. "I'm sure you have all heard of Rule 304 in the student handout book which would have been given to you on your first day?"

I watched as Miyuki scanned the room looking to see if anyone knew what she was on about, no one did. Well apart from the geeky dude with the glasses and the slightly feminine boy. Miyuki glanced at me rolling her eyes in disgust. I nodded along, pretending I knew what she was on about. I hadn't read that boring manual! It was almost 400 pages long. Nah, it was best to just get Miyuki to explain it and pretend I knew exactly what was going on. I had much more important things to do with my awesome time. Just uh, don't tell Miyuki I said that.

"Yes, but what has that got to do with anything?" The glasses guy broke the silence staring at us questioningly. It was creepy. His stares were worse than Miyuki's. It felt as if his eyes were boring into my awesome soul! That could not happen! My awesome soul could not be harmed! I chucked a pillow at his face to stop the scary monster from hell from staring at me. It worked! But earned me another slap around the head from an angry Miyuki. I noticed all the girls surrounding him, looking after him. It couldn't have hurt that bad. He was over exaggerating it for a little love and affection, the baby. I did get a couple of glares from his fan girls, but who cares? Not me. I had after all slain the beast!

"I apologise for Megumi, she's not right in the head." Miyuki replied staring at me in disgust again. I almost started to pout, but luckily I realised that the enemy was watching our every move so I quickly went back into my stoic mode staring at them with my best evil glare. ...I think one of the girls called it 'cute'. I SHALL KILL THEM ALL! I don't get why I'm cute, just because I don't look mature and I'm slightly short. I can walk in high heels you know! I fall in them, but still! I'm not cute! Now sexy, I'll agree to that. After all, I doubt there's a boy on this planet who can refuse my charm. I am also beautiful. And awesome, can't forget awesome! As I am after all pure awesome.

"Is she okay?" I looked up as I heard another fan girl ask the question. I stared at them in confusion, what? Oh, I get it I zoned out again. I do that quite a lot, zone out. I can't help it, it's just all my thoughts are so awesome that I have to keep thinking about them. I can't help my awesomeness. Oh, I'm doing it again. Time to pay attention!

"As I have been trying to say, Rule 304 states that there can only be one of each club. And for some reason this idiot here," she motioned towards me, which is slightly insulting. I'm not an idiot. I fail the idiot tests so I'm a genius, see how that works? I hope so because I don't have any idea. Miyuki carried on with her explanation, "Wants to start a Hostess club but thanks to Rule 304, the only way we can start a Hostess club is if the Host club is shut down."

"Yeah, that's right, so close down the Host club!" I yelled jumping up and down excitedly. This was going much faster than I expected, which is good as I might get home in time to watch SpongeBob SquarePants. I love that show. I wanna watch it now.  
"So any questions?" Miyuki stared at them all. I think half the people were to scared to reply. Except for the creepy glasses guy, he asked a question.

"What if we refuse?" His voice was very serious and businessman like.

"Ootori Kyouya, ne?" Miyuki asked watching him. I suddenly remember her telling me abut him. He had the highest grades in our class and pretty much run the Host clubs finances. Basically he was like a male version of Miyuki in my mind. I probably should have realised who he was when I first saw him. Miyuki had made me learn all the names of the people in the Host club, she promised to help me as long as I actually did some work. Wait, I chucked a pillow at him! Doesn't he have an army or something?! I'm going to die! Why do I always end up dying, it's too scary! I should really stop annoying people who know how to hire assassins...

"Yes, I am Ootori Kyouya," he nodded not even shocked that Miyuki knew who he was. I thought he might be slightly surprised. Most people are when Miyuki pulls out the 'I know every little detail of your life' card. Okay, she just said his name, but considering they'd only just met, that's still kind of creepy.

"Who are they, mommy?" Asked the taller blonde hiding behind Kyouya. I think his name is Tamaki. He's meant to be the 'king' of the Host club. That makes him my main enemy as I will obviously be queen of the Hostess club. I have the looks and personality. What can I say, God loves me. Wait, did he just call the glasses boy 'mommy'. Woah, these Hosts have them young these days. Kids I mean, they have kids when their young. And isn't your mum normally a girl? He mustr have had an awesome surgeon.

"He's not actually his mother, Megumi." Miyuki looked at me like I was an idiot. She'd only looked at me like that 10 times today, I think I'm breaking a record here! She normally says I just escaped out of the mental ward at least 30 times a day. So yay! I've become more normal.

"This is Sato Megumi," Kyouya pointed at me, leaving me shocked. How the hell did he know who I was? Unless... He's like Miyuki! A creepy internet stalker! Why must everyone I talk to be creepy!? It's to scary. "And that is Suzuki Miyuki." He pointed at Miyuki but she didn't seem bothered at all. She's cool like that. I want to be cool but then I couldn't just randomly talk about unicorns, because apparently that's weird, who knew right?

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance." Miyuki nodded politely, nudging me in the side to inform me I should be doing the same.  
"Oh yeah. Hiya everybody. I am the awesome Miyuki!" I grinned going to my anime pose that I had been practising. It made me look so awesome!

"Well I'm assuming Ootori-san is in charge, ne? I shall email you all the forms needed for you to close down the Host club. Goodbye." With that Miyuki left. Woah that was cool! I need a cool exit too. Tamaki, the tall blonde was now weeping in a corner growing mushrooms, how odd. I think he might be insulted by the fact that Miyuki didn't call him the boss, even though he is. But look at him. I don't think you could let him look after a rock.

"Uh, cool exit mode activated, boop." I shouted jumping into another anime pose, I knew thousands. I started to leave, looking very cool and sophisticated I might add, but... "IS THAT CAKE?!" I am fairly certain it is and I want it! Okay, just so you know, I'm not crazy. I just love cake. But for crying out loud, what sane person doesn't like cake? It's cake for crying out loud!

The shota boy looked at me confused as he dug into his newest piece of cake. I think his name was Hani, or was it Honey, oh well, same thing. CAKE!

"You want some Gumi-chan?" He smiled looking up at me happily. Now might be the time to admit I might have a slight shota complex but can you blame me, their so cute~! I get the feeling that if I stay Miyuki will kill me but, cake with a loli-shota! Once in a life time opportunity!

"I'd love to but..." I turned to face the door. I really didn't have time for cake to be honest. I had to start helping Miyuki with the plan for the Hostess club. After all it was my idea.

"Another time?" Hani asked smiling at me happily while digging into even more cake it looks so yummy! I want cake!

"Definitely!" I grinned I was gonna get cake! "Bye guys." Maybe I wouldn't crush them too badly, they were giving me cake after all. I quickly ran out, time to put my awesome plan into action!


	2. Miyuki's POV

**A/N:** Hiya, new chapter. It's shorter but it's mainly to get to the next point xD Well I don't own Ouran so enjoy~ I'm sorry it sucks though TT3TT

Lots of hugs,

Lottie xx

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**~Miyuki's POV~**

I sighed as I walked into Music Room 2. We had been given it for our Hostess club because it was abandoned like Music Room 3. I can't help but wonder of any one in this school actually studies music, well who cares, it benefits us. So afar Megumi had been filling it with costumes, she said they were an important aspect of Host/Hostess clubs. It was so... cluttered. It was all anime stuff too. I swear that she needs to get a life. Then again she would only make me plan it.

"So what's the plan, Stan?" Megumi giggled at her newest catch phase. She'd said it at least ten times today I thought it would have worn out after a while but, no.

"You watch to much American TV," I rolled my eyes, trying to concentrate on the important files I had to type up. Not that that bothered Megumi, she would keep talking through the apocalypse if she could.

"Awh, but I really did want to know the plan." Megumi pouted and started rolling around on the floor. I probably should have asked why but I have much more important things to do than worry about Megumi's feelings. I had to make the plan simpler before I could show it to her. There was no point bothering her with irrelevant facts. If I gave her the whole plan she would a way to mess it up. Not that she's an idiot but, she's... chaotic.

"I'm boooooreed~!" Megumi wailed rolling around.

"Fine, I have created a short-list for possible applicants to join the Hostess club, I want you to sort it out. Can you do that?" I pulled a piece of paper out of my bag with the names of all the girls I had felt would be good in a Hostess club, and ones with good businesses. No point in having nobody's in our club. If I have to do this, then I'm going to make some connections while doing it.

"You trust me to do this?" She looked really happy but for some reason I gett the idea this is a bad idea. The look in her eyes is too... mischievous.

"...Yes." I'm not sure if I did but what's the worst that could happen? Maybe I shouldn't think about that.

"YAY~! Well first, we need someone who is moe."

"Moe?"

"Well you see, a person who is moe tends to be quite weak and childish but they tend to be very..."

"Think carefully about what you say Megumi, very carefully." I glared at her, we'd had far to many conversations like this for my liking. I'm not interested in all that stuff but it didn't seem to stop Megumi telling me all about it. It was also harder to work her with when she was in 'otaku mode', she went all crazy and loud, well more so than normal.

"Uh...Well they tend to have big b-"

"I get it and no." I scowled did she seriously expect me to find this stuff out. I'm not a pervert like her. Urgh, I hate this type of conversations, it's so embarrassing. Obviously this means Megumi loves talking about anything rude, the pervert, though I think she does it just to annoy me. She doesn't realise what a thin line it is she's walking on sometimes.

"Hmph, fine. If you tried to act nice, you could be the moe person as you have big t-" Before Megumi could finish the sentence, she went flying across the room. I laughed a bit at her face, she was still babbling about otaku stuff when she flew across the room. I could feel my face burning though so I hid behind my laptop. I hated it when this happened it made me look unprofessional.

"I said I get it." I glared at her though, I couldn't help but laugh at her she was trying to look mad but it was about as scary as a baby penguin.

"You couldn't even act nice," pouted Megumi who started sulking in the corner.

"What was that?" I glared at her. I swear she was shaking with fear. I find that insulting, it's not like I'm that scary and I don't insult her stupidity so she shouldn't annoy me.

"Nothing."

"Good. Now just pick 3-4 more people to pick the club, okay?" I handed her the piece of paper with all the names on before carrying on typing.

"There's, like 200! You expect me to read all this?" Megumi fell to the floor. I don't know why she's so bothered I read thrrough a lot more to get it to that number, she should be foing stuff anyway. It's her idea.

"197 and yes." I smiled, giving her sharp glare to tell her I was serious. I then packed up my laptop, getting ready to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?" Megumi wailed rolling on the floor. I rolled my eyes, seriously my world didn't revolve around her.

"I have an important meeting to attend."

"So I have to do this by myself?"

"Yes." I grabbed my bag and walked out, though I stayed by the door, I had to check she would get that done. It was pretty important. We needed to get all this set up by at least next week.

"URGH!" Megumi rolled around on the floor for a bit before she picked up the sheet and got reading. I laughed at her, it was always funny when Megumi did anything. I might not mention it, but I know she will be good at this. Though I get the feeling I'll be doing most the paper work. Oh well, it'll be something to put on my university application.

"Hello, Ootori-san," I was kind of shocked he had turned up. I obviously expected him to come see us at some point, but so soon? Well, it'll be good to get this meeting out of the way. By the looks of things he had been waiting a while though by the way he was pretending to have just walked down the hall he didn't want me to know that. Interesting.

"Suzuki-san," He nodded his head. This meeting is turning out to be very formal. How dull. "So, what are you doing back at Ouran after all these years?" I froze, how did he know that? I'd kept that a secret, had it wiped off my personal records, there is no way he could know that. The annoying thing was the look on his face though. He seemed so triumphant.

"Ootori-san, I'm sorry but that is none of your business, so-" I started but he interrupted me.

"But it is, you who wants to close down the host club, which is my business, so you are too." He leaned forward staring into my eyes. It was kind of creepy, seriously this was to close. I could feel my face burning up. I hate people invading my space. Ootori got a weird look on his face, it seemed to be another smirk. That smirk is really annoying. "Not that a fair princess as yourself wouldn't already be my business." His voice was now charming and princely. ...Has he banged his head or something? Oh wait, I understand. He thinks I blushed as I like him, not that I was considering hitting him, well this could be very interesting. He winked too. That was slightly weird, he really should just stick to the cold guy act.

"O-o-ootori-san, t-there's something I want to tell you," I stuttered a bit for added effect looking to the side nervously playing with a loose strand putting on my best cute act. Sadly Megumi had spent hours training me in all this. The minute she decided she wanted to start a Hostess club she had ade me take 'nice' lessons. I think it had a much more complicated name but it was stupid so, it doesn't matter. I looked at him he was still smirking. How silly.

"Let me guess, you won't try to shut down the host club and would love to visit me there sometime?" He smiled politely but it was obvious he was thinking I was an idiot. Ootori you really need to do your research better.

"Nope," I looked straight into his eyes, "You suck at flirting, Kyoya-san." I smiled at him before walking down the hall, he looked slightly annoyed. He should have known we would have been easier to beat than that. I kind of feel insulted. "Oh, and your not my type." I could almost feel the glare that was following me.


End file.
